Why Can't They Just Get Over It!

Many sex addicts have spoken these words hoping to move their partner beyond their betrayal. They want to turn the page, start fresh, and turn over a new leaf. And they feel that their partner should be willing to forget the past and move forward without ever bringing up the betrayal again.

So when will a wounded partner get over it? When will they quit bringing up the past? Only when they have healed from the trauma caused by the sex addict.

Fair? It is not a question of fairness. It is a question of healing. Someone who has been badly traumatized cannot will themselves to "just get over it." Witness the many veterans who continue to deal with the trauma caused in combat years later. They want to move on but without help many are not able to heal.

Partners of sex addicts can indeed heal and they can do it more quickly if the one who wounded them can be patient, forget the idea that the healing will correspond to any date on the calendar, and personally get into recovery from their sex addiction.

Whether you are a sex addict or a wounded partner, I know it is possible to stop all acting out behavior forever, heal the trauma caused by sex addiction, and have a fully restored relationship.

-Dr. Milton Magness, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and a Licensed Professional Counselor.

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"I can't imagine our communication would be nearly this good if my husband was still withholding the full truth from me. And I don't think he would ever have made a full disclosure without the polygraph."

-MARRIAGE COUNSELING CLIENT

"The disclosure was clearly the single most important thing I have ever done in my life. I have never EVER been so honest with anyone in my entire life... including myself. When you are forced to lay out a lifetime of poor choices and bad behavior in one afternoon in front of a person you love so much that you're even willing to do such a thing, it was nerve-wracking. And although it caused as great deal of pain and anguish for me to say and her to hear, it also was clearly the only way to break through in order to allow for any restoration to ever take place."

-MALE INTENSIVE CLIENT